This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
