The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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