Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
the raccoons are back...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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