just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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