is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
