good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
