the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
