Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
