yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
