The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
