I cannot find my penis.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
