Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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