Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
