we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
