I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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