3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
