we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
