That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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