we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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