please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The ass gains better be worth it
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