Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
