i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
