yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
