at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
