I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
