The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
