Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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