just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
