In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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