I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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