Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
