And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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