I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
