He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
