I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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