i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
