So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
