is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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