I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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