I don't think brook has ever known best
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So vagazzling was a success
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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