so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
