i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
