epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
