Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
