I think i peed on brittanys purse
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
