we have officially mastered the walk of shame
two words: eviction party
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
