the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
