I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
sex in a hospital.. check
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
