i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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