What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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