I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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