my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
